If I ever write a Doctor Who, I’m calling it The Pair of Docs Paradox.

If you are even granted three wishes by a genie (unlikely), here’s what you should do. Write everything you want into a story about yourself then wish for your story to come true. That’s only one wish. How come no one else has thought of this???

The only social media app where everyone has proven they support you is OnlyFans.

We don't want another Spice Girls album. We really, really want one.

I can accept by now that the first Final Fantasy wasn’t the final Fantasy. But now Final Fanasy 7 wasn’t even the final Final Fantasy 7.

You know how a G sometimes sounds like a J? Let’s just use a J.

Lea Thompson’s 80s romantic leads: her son, a duck and Tom Cruise. Boy, she had a thing for short guys.

I wish they’d make a Hard Ticket to Hawaii video game.

The biggest gamble I take when ordering at restaurants is cole slaw. Well, that and running out without paying. 

Hannah Gadsby is AMAZING. That is all. I'm in awe of her talent and skill for being wholly herself without compromises.