If I had a show and was writing its last two episodes, I'd call them "The Beginning of The End" and "The End of The Beginning of the End".

Ad algorithms need some work. People who just bought a refrigerator do not need a refrigerator. Your customers are the only people you shouldn’t target. You just sold me this refrigerator and you think I need a new one already. What do you know that I don’t? Is it about to explode or something? Now I’m returning it and I’m not ever buying from you ever again.

You ever played that Old Maid game? You do everything you can to not get a woman experienced at cleaning. Makes no sense whatsoever.

I like arguing with people. Change my mind.

I once told a customer I was new. ...I wasn’t new.

The only horses you should beat are dead ones.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one... why don’t seagulls steal bags of chips over the harbor? Because then they’d be... wait....

The doctors told me these pills would be non-habit forming, but where’d all these brown robes come from then?