It'd be funny to have 3 cats (one black, one white and one black and white) and tell people it was one cat that you cloned with mixed results. When people ask which one is the original, say you can't remember.

I went out into the world today. 1 star. Do not recommend.

Stop making old shows widescreen!

If you’re bored, look up John Young’s corned-beef sandwich and why the government called it a “30 million dollar sandwich”. 

Every table is a fire table if you have the right kindling.

These guys on College Humor by my count are in their 13th year. Just let them graduate!

I want to see a Zack Snyder movie as good as the trailer for a Zack Snyder movie.

Zombie bites are not that strong. Just cover yourself with anything they can't bite through. Preferably with something that when they try, it makes their teeth break. Then you're fine. This is a whole genre of storytelling?

Say whatever you want. Offend people. If you believe it, say it. Then listen and see if maybe you’re wrong.

Bad people forget that second part. Good people forget the first part.

I wonder if those guys at the FBI who are experts at telling when someone is lying can enjoy theater.