Things Around Me Right Now

This is a list of things with me in this room. Someday, I will go into the other room.

  • my PIkachu onesie
  • my ouija board I use to summon satan
  • spaghettios
  • my typewriter from the future
  • my coo coo clock that swears 
  • my published letter in the newspaper warning of the dangers of socialized cartography
  • a rainbow
  • my half cheesecake and cherry pies that I call The Continentals - available for purchase - inquire inside
  • a limited edition 6 breasted sports bra
  • an empty wallet
  • pirated copy of Biloxi Blues - (the play - not the movie)
  • the slim jim I used to break into my first train car
  • a photograph of John Wilkes Booth's first piano recital
  • a spider
  • expired nuclear launch codes
  • 6 kilos of angel dust
  • a stain glass window of Vanilla Ice
  • a printed receipt from the deli at the corner containing an order of the following items: mashed potatoes, baked potato with extra sour cream, curly fries, steak fries, 2 cherry pies, Sprite medium size, thirty dollar charge for broken fondue pot, three and a half percent tip
  • an old flip phone I keep because it has a voicemail from my favorite grandpa that died
  • an urn containing my second favorite grandpa
  • 2 victirolas
  • a witch's hat 
  • correction: a black taffic cone
  • a coin of unknown origin
  • a mernaid costume
  • 9 rubber bands
  • government cheese (not used in cheesecake)
  • a manhole cover that says "Property of the Ottawa Water & Sanitation Dept"
  • blueprints to a helicopter
  • Jeff Goldblum
  • 12 dozen eggs
  • broken laptop charg
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