Beam me up

There’s no coffee bar called Bean Me Up, Biscotti.

Random fun

Don't worry about technology or automation making your job redundant. DJs still exist and they were pointless even before iPods or playlists.

Someone just gave me a webcam cover for my computer. Now I’ll never get tips!

Ironically, there is no “i” in cyclops.

At any given time in America, up to 3 McDonalds ice cream machines are working.

I've created a perpetual motion machine! Wait, no. It stopped again.

I still waiting for the Flavor Flav masterclass.

“There’s a hole in my bucket, Dear Liza.”

“Use another one Henry. I’m on the phone.”

And scene.